Any of you out there like the taste of your toes? Disgusting concept I know, but whether I want to admit or not I have apparently come to enjoy the taste of my feet. Yes, over the years my like for them has become less, but every so often I get that craving for a little toe to munch on. Do I try to stop it? Sometimes. Do I regret it after I once again have that all too familiar flavor in my mouth? YES!
It seems like putting my foot in my mouth is an almost daily occurrence. I think I am doing so good, you know thinking before I speak and all. Then I have a moment of relief (and some satisfaction, because it is such a struggle for me) thinking of the disastrous comment I just avoided. But then BAM, like "revenge of the chocolate cake" it hits me. That one comment that came flying out of my mouth before I even had time to realize it. I quite often will put my hand over my mouth to stop any further commentary from myself, but unfortunately my mouth has learned to outwit my hand. It has developed stealth like, ninja moves that it likes to practice on occasion. Then almost immediately thereafter the embarrassment sinks in I realize that, "Oops I did it again"!
My question is, does one ever outgrow this wretched fault? How is it that some just have that natural gift to think things through and know when things should and should not be said? I almost always say the most inappropriate thing at the most inappropriate time. It is this urge to speak that cannot be contained, try as I might, I am compelled to speak. It's like an erupting volcano, the pressure builds and builds until finally it explodes. BAM!, BOOM!, POW!, SPLAT! Those are my words spewing everywhere, however it is in a less glorious and beautiful fashion than that of a volcano.
I think one of the people (fictional) that I relate to the most is Bridgette Jones. I absolutely love that movie and probably watch it 5-10 times a year. I am just like her. Never having the right words to say and always saying the wrong things in the wrong moment. I think I actually live in a constant state of embarrassment. LOL. One day it probably will just be me and Bridgette Jones, after offending them masses, alone and "being eaten by wild dogs".
I am hoping that one day soon I learn the fine art of diplomacy and discretion. But for the time being if you see me munching on some toes, just do me a favor and pass the salt. :)
Considering I once participating in hanging a workplace poster of your foot-in-mouth eruptions, I find this hilarious. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, I've always thought your toe-munching one of your most defining characteristics. I certainly don't think it's something you should be embarrassed over. You should embrace it, like a pizza-addict stuck in Italy :P
ReplyDeleteHaving munched many toes in my time, I can understand your predicament. I must admit, I am still trying to learn the fine art of keeping my mouth shut. I wish at times there was some kind of tape I could just apply that would never come off until I had thought through what I would like to say and decide against it. Oh well, will you please pass the salt my way too?
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